inscription

I wanted to show him an excerpt , a few lines of dialogue that I felt rhymed with me. When I found the book, tucked in the back corner of my battered book shelf, I flicked through the front, searching not for the quote, but curious to see if there was an inscription (most of the hardback books i have are inscribed, generally being gifts from friends or family, or former lovers)


But the title page, and those that followed, were blank. As I look for the quote I want to share with him, I am thrust back into the romantic context of purchasing this book. I had bought it at a reading, and had it signed by the author for a girl i was seeing at the time. I couldn't afford to buy two copies then, so only hers had the inscription. i must have bought this one later, meaning no inscription from the author, meaning mine... was blank.


I think of her, this ex lover, and think of her having the book signed by one of our favourite authors. we're still on good terms the girl and I, but maybe not quite friends.

Suddenly thinking of her owning the signed copy, I feel irritated, jealous.
I try to shake the memory off.


He's asking me if I've found the excerpt i wanted to share. I find the quote, and read it to him.

sounds like you

he says.


This cheers me up. I'm happy he sees that.


Days later, I'm tidying the living room. I come across the book, and before I find a place for it on my bookshelf, I open it again. I flip through the front pages. This time I notice something. On the very first page, inside the cover, very faint as it had been written in pencil, is an inscription.

"Whoever tries to find refuge in any one place, in any one moment, will
never be where they think they are. xx N."

And then I feel guilty. I had completely forgotten him, this long lost
friend.

Now more than ever, this quote feels especially poignant. I put the book back on the shelf, wondering on the whereabouts of this long lost friend, thanking him, for this perfect missive from the past..