breathe

It starts with a desperate need to have my neck bare. I must quickly rip away any scarf, necklace, unbutton and open coats, dresses, shirts. Then my pulse feels frighteningly rapid and I'm scared, scared it will only speed up. I have to focus on breathing, just breathing, the act of breathing.

How fast is your heart going now? How fast? Too fast. Knowing this, thinking this makes breathing even harder. I start to gag and I need to sit down and I can't do anything but wait , wait for

Breathe . breathe in, breathe out. Just sit still and breathe

(But I'm late most likely and I can't tell him because his phone isn't working properly. He'll be sitting waiting for me thinking I don't care about making him wait when I do its just I can't get up right now I, its hard to breathe now and I )

Don't think about that. Just breathe. Ok now, maybe you can stand up?

You can't . Finally its happened. Your body is protesting. Stop thinking, stop worrying, or else maybe your breathing really will stop.

Just breathe ok?…

Breathe.

Breathe…