his arrival/her departure.

As sliding doors opened, I stumbled in with my two bags and suitcase. I fought for a space to stand , as my eyes collided into his. He was good looking and seemed friendly, but there was no warmth in the stare I gave him. It was exhausted if anything. I looked down, away. Stops later I turned, and caught him looking again. I had been lost in thought. I am wearing an outfit that may have seemed trendy but also incongruous: black Chanel oversized t-shirt, oil slick black leggings, gold hightops, a leather jacket covered in studs. I still had my massive sunglasses on. There may have been mascara stains just beneath them, the remains of tears.

When it was time to get off, I fought my way through the crush of rush hour commuters. When I looked up ahead, I felt like Sisyphus at the mountain. Why oh why did this station have to have so many fucking stairs???!! Suddenly my train voyeur was there. Did I want help with my suitcase? My yes was all shades of grateful.
“ Good holiday?” he asked. In my mental state of departure, the fact I could be arriving didn’t gel. It’s funny that isn’t it, someone coming or going, how can you ever tell? Whether we are coming or going, we look the same.

I’d paused too long, he was struggling with my suitcase, but still seemed intent on hearing an answer. I mumbled..

"uh..kinda. "
“kinda a holiday?!” he smirked
“I kind of live here part of the time, so it wasn’t really a holiday. I’m on my way back to Berlin.” There was a level of exasperation in my voice. The statement sounded strange to my ears, more glamourous than the reality. What would I think if I met my doppelganger and heard such words? I’d probably want to ask what she did for a living, and look at the gold trainers and gold bag, and think about what the cities of London and Berlin had in common. I’d then decide she was either: a dj or an artist. Maybe he thought all this, maybe he just accepted it , at any rate he nodded, and in a considered way , as if putting pieces of a puzzle together said
“ Which I guess is where you live the rest of the time.”

He told me he’d be going to Vienna soon . The mention of the city cheered me up for some reason.
“Oh its gorgeous, I’ve been twice this year.”
“ Yeah… I’m from there. But I haven’t been in ten years." His accent was completely London.

"The thing is. I’m going because… I’m going to see my dad… We haven’t seen eachother in.. well… we don’t’ get on so well. "

I nodded. This was the preamble to a conversation that could be interesting or meaningful but would have to end prematurely. I saw the barriers to my line. We stopped. He needed to go the other direction. For a moment it was almost as if he was considering walking along with me. I quickly interrupted the pause.
"Good luck . it is an amazing city". I said. He handed me back my suitcase.
"Well..." he searched for something else to say. "Have a safe journey. "
"You too." I said.

I walked off, and as I reached the barriers I looked back to see him looking my direction, before turning and walking away.