the best way you could possibly spend the next 8 minutes of your time...

no seriously. last year a friend of mine made this short film called mitte. i screened it at the first cinema rivalry night and everyone there was pretty impressed by it . its funny, its on point, and its a fun take on the performance art scene, the new wave of auslanders/kunstlers coming to berlin, and self indulgent hipsters in general. watch it now

and then VOTE FOR IT http://www.thirteen.org/sites/reel13/category/vote/

mitte- the movie... vote baby vote..

bastardslam, shut up and speak, new word order and making tracks...

so as much as i almost fell into a park vortex at gorli, i dragged my ass back to the flat to get out this blog. i woke up this morning amazed at feeling fresh, considering the ammount of wine i knocked back last night at comedy in sin. its a night you should seriously check out if you havn't already. its run by the boys of the comedy olympics. as much as i love my spoken word, it was great to be at an english language event that had nothing to do with poetry for a change. and everyone was hilarious. paula salamone's brooklyn character cracked me up, ray melara was brilliant, and the thing that really blew my mind about jacinta, is how she is so skilled at her craft, that she make me laugh so hard even with material i'm familiar with. its great to have such talented friends.

but anywaysss, as there is no rest for the wicked, my night off from performing was just a warm up for the busy night i have ahead tomorrow. First i'll be cycling down to wirrwarr at seven to catch ShUt up and Speak, a bilingual spoken word event of scintillating female poets. if i'm lucky i may have time to get on the open mic at 8, but then i have to jump back on the bike right after, to get to festaal xberg for the bastardslam. jacinta is the reigning title holder so i'm really keen to hear what she's got in store, and there's a feature poet called Blair, who i've heard great things about, hailing to that birthplace of techno, detroit. i have no idea what i'm performing yet, but with any luck i'll figure it out before my name is called.

then ich machen eine pause from the stage. just a teeny kleine one. as next thursday i'm hosting new word order. and for all my performing friends whether you be musicans, comics, poets, storytellers or just fancy having five minutes to get up and talk about something. get down to mano cafe' on the corner of skalitzer str and lausitzer str by 8 and get your name on the list. but beware, where your name goes down on the list may or may not determine when i call you up to perform. :-)

only other thing i should add is that i'm cracking on on the music front. there are two new tracks on the player, eye contract and commodity, and if you want to hear more of the skills of producers domenica and jonas mccloud. check them out in my top friends. and there is more to come. clouds and i have an ep in the making after working very hard for the last months. that evil genius of electric guitar maurice
(from band ena wild) is going to be joining me more often to lend some atmospheric chords to my verse. and its starting to look like more of my gigs are going to at least feature backing tracks, if not live musicians, or when i'm very lucky a full band. kind of like this one...

eye contract

I didn’t take you seriously
You barely registered on my radar
I just thought
No, actually I didn’t
think anything about you
But then the contract was set
With this one glance

I hadn’t been eyed up in
That way in some time
that curious intrigued way
that squaring up and
challenging way
that you’d decided
for both of us way
that makes my whole
body start responding

Like some kind of reflex
Like a series of
buttons were pressed
Like I’ve been
biologically programmed
Like I’m responding to
Unspoken commands
when the signals are set
I submit
without even realising

Our eyes were having
A very different conversation
From the one our
mouths were
You read my book
Without revealing one chapter
You played dumb
Just To make me feel clever

And I thought I was coy
But my bluff was blown
When you stopped playing
Didn’t’ wait to see my hand
Just Pinned me with it
Against that wall
In one smooth maneouvre

My dress raising over my legs
I stopped thinking altogether
Maybe I’m a follower
Who only pretends to be a leader
All mouth until told to
Shut up and listen
I was in a position
I didn’t know how to get out of
And didn’t really want to
either

The last time
I was in a situation like this
the contract was set
with one glance
but I didn’t know then that
the terms were four years
and sometimes I think
I probably should have
checked
The fine print

but this time is totally different
the toilet cubicle
is replaced by a dressing room
the town of brighton
is played by berlin
the bartender from brazil
is now a musician from london
and as for terms and conditions
well
once again they were not being
set by me

I said
How are you so sure
That you’re stronger
And you laughed and said
Because I am
And I didn’t consider
Any of the others who could walk in
Completely forgot about
Someone I’d been Flirting with
Only ten minutes before

And there I was
pinned
a butterfly preserved
Not knowing
how I’d been categorised
In my caption and
Just as suddenly as we
started
Without any explanation You

stopped,
let go of me
And you were
walking off
I said
Am I ever gonna see you again?
And you..
you just Laughed…

die frie hand und life is a cabaret....

suddenly i go from endless chilling out at the park to being kinda busy, i think the change in weather kicked me into gear or. maybe the rain gets my london head on and tells me i can't just hang out.

but i'm feeling all inspired after hooking up with poetry diva katinka kraft, even though, or especially though, our conversation dropped us down some kind of cafe' vortex (in a very good way). its just one of those days.... its just one of those weeks actually.. suddenly its already tuesday and i'm gearing up for gigs on friday and saturday, and actually using my diary to make sense of what i'm getting up to in the next two weeks. which will hopefully consist of hooking up with fleur from plateau repas, as we just got our collective heads scheming. annnd i'm starting to holler at london because I'm thinking about the Fall. so this is the point in the blog and say

ADD SKINT BUT SEXY AS YOUR FRIEND...

who? who? you may ask. well drop down to my top friends and note that rather fetching doll couple all decked out in their prophylactic best. there's a little content up there now, but v.soon there will be more video, and maybe even some more tracks. add them now while supplies last. all will be explained in good time.

now, back to the weekend. not just one but two gigs for the ladies and gents of berlin, where I journey to where i have never performed before... MehringDamm and NEU KÖLLN.... i'm getting all tingly just thinking about gracing new territory. and to make it all the more exciting, both sets will feature special surprise guests...

so first, friday i've got a fifteen minute set at Kollage which will be filmed so it would be super lovely to have some familiar faces to perform to, especially if you're the type that applaud warmly and loudly. and performers its a good night for you to check out as these guys film all their nights all professional like and then upload them to youtube, and stream them all over the world wide web. so its a great place to perform and walk away with more online presence than you had when you walked in. and now finer to the details..
-----------Die Freie Hand KultuRRevue
am Freitag, den 08.Mai.09

diesmal mit Mai, Valentin & the true believers,
Sven Panne, Naëma Faika, Nikolaus Buchholz, Paula Varjack
Wann: 20Uhr (Einlass)
Und weiter: Yorckstrasse 22, Kreuzberg, Berlin 10965

Und Wie hin?: U Bahn MehringDamm/Möckernbrücke/ S Yorckstr.
Ach ja: 3€
+ 1€ GEMA

--die Links------------------------------
Mai (www.myspace.com/maikommt)
Sven Panne (www.myspace.com/svenpanne)
Paula Varjack (www.myspace.com/paulavarjack)
Nikolaus Buchholz (www.myspace.com/nikobuchholz)
Fedja (www.myspace.com/fedjaband)
Valentine & The True Belivers (www.myspace.com/valentinethetruebelievers)
www.myspace.com/diefreiehand
www.kulturrevue.de


and so onto saturday,9th May 20.00hrs the launch of a new bi-monthly night in Neukolln,Ubahn Boddinstr U8, another new platform for performers and musicans alike the one and only...
Phoneyisland Cabaret....
(here's what they've got to say about the show)

The economy is doomed, earthquakes hit southern Germany and a Swine flu pandemic threatens Civilisation - it must be spring.
And what better way to celebrate than with a cosy evening of free variety entertainment in the leafy streets of Neukölln.

Phoneyisland present a Cabaret with Deutsch and British artistes performing tunes, songs, comedy and poetry in a small, but perfectly formed, venue.A mixed up session with a house band, the Phoneyisland Wurlitzer – and a little Betty Boop thrown in.

Performances from,


Dom Bouffard
London born Singer, Musician and Composer. Former member of Cult London Rock'n'Roll bands SONA FARIQ and QUEEN ADREENA as well as NYC electro outfit THE GLASS.
Recently at The Berliner Ensemble

Hans-Joern Brandenburg
Composer/Arranger/Musician.Music for Theatre, Movies and Concert.Worked with Tom Waits, Greg Cohen, Bob Wilson, Tiger Lillies, Kronos Quartet, Rufus Wainwright, Frank Gratkowski, Herrmann Kretzschmar, Sirone, Thomas Wydler, 10FootBallerina, Recently at The Berliner Ensemble

Dharmander Singh
Is an actor/ musician and comedian from the sunny city of Birmingham, England. He has been entertaining audiences with his energetic rants about the world and life in general since 2006. Relocating to Berlin in December 2008, Dharmander has been a regular performer at "The Scheinbar" and " Kookaburra Comedy Club". Dharmander has performed at the Edinburgh Festival with the show " Asian Invasion for the last 3 years. Dharmander likes cheese, especially hallumi.

and last but not least...
Paula Varjack
Paula's the girl that leaves you at loss for words, maybe because she took yours before you could say them. She ran away from London last year to become a documentary filmmaker, and ended up as a performance poet. She's still not quite sure how that happened. (maybe it was the blue pill??). In any case, as far as her performances are concerned, fasten your seatbelts and get ready to get varjacked